What is happening to Whom in Britain?

I was having dinner in San Diego with a retired English teacher, when he rather cleverly asked me, "What is happening to whom in England?" I knew he meant "What is happening to the use of the word 'whom'?" so I replied that it was hardly used at all, except incorrectly.

Here's an example: I contacted John Smith whom I believe is the man in charge. It's a common error, caused by the parenthetical phrase 'I believe'. Take out that phrase and you'll know it's right to say "who is the man in charge".

We continued talking about common mistakes in English, and exchanged notes on the following:

As a valued customer we can offer you ... Is the valued customer making the offer? Should have been "As you are a valued customer, we can offer you ..." or (better) "Because you are a valued customer ..."

Your alright. Should be You're all right. You're sounds like Your, but here it stands for You are. And 'all right' is the correct form, as two words. 'Alright' is one of those abuses that are gaining acceptance just because so many people use it.

Celebrating it's anniversary. The possessive form is 'its'. 'It's', with the apostrophe, means 'it is.'

Between 12pm and 1pm. There is no such time as 12p.m. Or 12 a.m. either. It is 12 noon or 12 midnight.

This mitigates against them recommending you. Some words are used in error instead of another word that sound similar. Mitigates means 'making less bad', so perhaps the speaker means 'militates', which means 'being a powerful factor in preventing something'.

XYZ ups the anti on driving skills. This is another example of the previous error. It should have been "ups the ante." The word means the bet a player makes when gambling (Latin for 'before').

He span around. The past tense of 'to spin' is 'spun'.

It was given to my friend and I. This is another version of 'between you and I'. Should be 'given to my friend and me'.

These common mistakes in English can result in the user being considered ill-educated, and create an unfavourable impression. Two excellent reference books on this topic are Usage and Abusage by Eric Partridge (Penguin) and The Right Word at the Right Time from Reader's Digest.

Phillip Khan-Panni
www.pkpcommunicators.com

Could this be why Murray lost?

The Times this morning is full of reports and analysis of the Australia Open and Andy Murray's failure to end a 74 drought of Grand Slam victories by a British male. One of the journalists wrote that Murray brought his A game but lost because he did not also bring his A service.

I think he was watching a different match from the one I saw.

In my view, Murray played reactive tennis -- a feature of his natural style. He seemed to be waiting for Federer to make an error, and when Federer played a soft slice, he responded with his own soft slice. Only in the third set, which he needed to win, did he come out and play with the kind of intensity that wins matches. He nearly won that set, and he played some of his best tennis in the tie break, when his motivation was finally at the right level.

So what can we learn from that?

Federer was in charge. He deployed his own resources, he dictated the plays, he made his opponent respond to what he was doing. Murray seldom took the initiative. He has the talent (the means), he has the technique (the method), but he fell short on motivation or mindset.

Means, method, mindset -- the 3Ms that provide the chance of success at the top.

Some unfortunate names

Some people have names they regret. Some business names convey the wrong impression. Here are a few I have collected. Do you have any you could add?

RESTAURANTS

FU KING Chinese Restaurant in Lake City, Florida.
Kum Den Restaurant in Melbourne, Australia.
My Dung Restaurant in Rosemead, California.
Chinese Food Takeaway - Fu Do, in Bromley, Kent
Gassey Jack's near Orange City, Florida.
Hitler's Cross in Mumbai, changed its name after residents objected
Sar's Oriental Cuisine, Tacoma, Washington
McWanks's in Watson Lake, Yukon, Canada
Colon Restaurant, Barcelona, Spain
Bang a Dong in Metro, Atlanta
Cabbages and Condoms in Thailand

PEOPLE

Kim Yoo Suk is a pole vaulter
Chew Kok is a tourist guide
Sue Yoo is a lawyer in New York
Dr Ted Kadivar is a Florida surgeon
Dr Melvin Boner is an Endodentist in Florida
Dr Alden Cockburn is a urologist in New Mexico
Brad Slaughter is a Meat Manager
Karl Thojntxhebvwg is a Mortgage Consultant
Oliver Loser stood for election in Denmark
Willie Stroker was a judge at an outdoor event
Mike Litoris is an American
Rusty Kuntz plays baseball for the Detroit Tigers
Robert G. Aycock does plastic surgery
Dr Will Tickle is a chiropractor

CARS

Mazda LaPuta = The whore
Mitsubishi Pajero = Wanker
Nissan Moco = booger (nose picking)
Buick LaCrosse = masturbating teenagers (in Quebec)
Opel Ascona = vagina
Honda Fitta = vagina
Daihatsu Charade = just pretending
Dodge Swinger = so '70s!
Lamborghini Reventon = wheel puncture
Mazda Furai = stealing (in Romanian)

Sources: 2leep.com and oddee.com

I deal in words that work. If you want to be sure of getting it right, contact me.

PKP
www.pkpcommunicators.com

Think 'local' when doing business abroad

Many a contract has been lost by not knowing how things are done locally. If you do business abroad, you need to have an understanding of how meetings are run out there ... and why.

The Western way is to start with a sliver of small talk, and then to get on with the agenda. It's well documented how Americans have flown abroad to do the business, sign the contracts, and get off home before the day is done, only to find that the locals cannot (will not) move so fast ... unless the Americans make big concessions!

It is equally well known that Arabs and other Easterners take offence when they are expected to get down to brass tacks before they have had the chance to develop a relationship of trust. So what's the best way to approach business meetings with cultures that differ from your own?

In some countries in Africa and Asia, formal meetings take a long time and frequently seem to achieve nothing - nothing that is obvious to the Western eye. It is their custom to allow and even encourage everyone present to say something on every topic that arises, even if what is said is hardly worth the breath.

It gives each person present a sense of self worth and is, in effect, a confirmation of their right to be at the meeting. It's an affirmation of status, even if the decision is eventually made by the senior person present, no matter what anyone else might say.

To get the result you want, you must be patient and fit in with the local ways. Find out what the purpose of the meeting is, and who are the really important people there. It is better to err on the side of generosity, and give a person more respect than he may deserve, rather than less.

The former may lose you nothing, while the latter may lose you everything.

PKP

What makes a speech or presentation succeed

I was recently approached by a friend to evaluate a speech she had prepared. It was good, well written and full of interesting content. But it wasn't a speech. It was, in effect, a spoken essay.
I told her that the text that's written to be said is different from the text that's written to be read.

An article printed in a magazine or newspaper allows you to read at your own pace, go back and read again the bits you didn't get the first time, memorise the things you want to retain. Listening to a speech is different. You hear it all just once, at the speaker's pace, and there is no instant rewind.

The speaker needs to be aware of this, and make it easy for the listener to get the point. Another consideration is the fact that our concentrations spans are very short, perhaps as little as seven seconds. Every seven seconds our minds switch to something else, so we are not paying attention all the time. (Even as you read this, you have had extraneous thoughts swim into your mind.)

Those are the built-in obstacles that a speaker must overcome. But the speaker has (or should have) a purpose for making the speech or presentation: it must be to bring about some change in the thinking, attitude or behaviour of the listener(s). That change can only come about if there is 'buy in' on the part of the listener, which implies some emotional response.

For a speech to work, for it to achieve its purpose, there needs to be a certain type of structure, the use of repetition, and some oratorical devices. Think of the famous speeches that you remember: JFK, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Winston Churchill. Think of the memorable phrases in those speeches, and note the devices - repetition, triads, mini climaxes and so on. These are the powerful elements that help the speaker to reach into the hearts of the hearers.

Being able to write in prose is not enough ... unless your PROSE stands for Purpose, Relevance, Oratory, Structure and Energy. And that's the message in my Masterclass, How to Make a Speech Worth Hearing. Saturday at The PSA London Chapter.

Get in touch.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice

Don't look at me in that tone of voice,
It smells a funny colour.

It's a popular saying from way back, and it carries a lot more meaning than at first appears. "That tone of voice" implies a critical note, and one that causes offence. Equally, you can convey much more than the words you use, through the way you speak. As Louis Armstrong sang, "It ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it."

The way you use your voice can make you persuasive and plausible, or it can lose you business. It can inspire people to follow you or it can distance people from you. Unfortunately, too many people cause upsets without realising it, just through their tone of voice.

Does it matter? Only if you want people to like you.

Can you do anything about your voice? Almost certainly. It depends on two things: your mental attitude and certain physical changes. I'll come to those in a moment, but first let's consider a couple of situations in which the tone of voice has mattered.

I was running a training session in which I introduced the idea of the Elevator Speech. It's something I do very frequently, and I usually do it the same way. I start by asking all the delegates present "What do you do?" and inevitably they give me their job titles. I then jokingly say, "That's so BORING!" and they all laugh. Not this last time, though.

There must have been something on my mind as I said it, and it upset the people there. Later they said I had been rude. Whatever had been on my mind, it changed my tone of voice. Everything else was exactly as it has always been - or so I thought. But that slight, almost imperceptible change in my tone, made it sound as though I was being rude instead of funny.

Consider how you might sound on the phone.

A customer calls and asks a question. You are a bit busy, but you want to be helpful, so you give what you consider to be an efficient answer, to the point and without wasting the caller's time. You think you've done a good job. The caller, on the other hand, may go away thinking you have been rather offhand, possibly even rude.

So what can you do to sound your best?

The most important starting place is in your own attitude. A New York hotel owner was once asked how she trained her staff to be nice to customers. She replied, "I don't hire people who know how to be nice. I hire nice people." Be friendly, and you'll sound friendly.

It's not advisable to develop different voices for different situations - haven't we all heard some people's "telephone voices"? But it is certainly worth developing a better sounding voice, one with credibility and authority as well as approachability. Here are a few simple techniques:

1. Keep a mirror on your desk to check if you are smiling when speaking - until it becomes a natural thing to do.
2. Practise speaking lower than usual, especially if your voice is high pitched.
3. Get feedback from trusted friends on the sound of your voice. Change what they don't like.
4. Sit up straight. Posture affects the voice.
5. Drink lots of water, especially if you do a lot of talking on the phone.
6. Practise proper breathing from the diaphragm.
7. Use the inner smile: think of some incident involving a child or an animal that always makes you want to smile. Your spirits will lift and your voice will change.
8. Put a note on your desk that reads: "Hello old friend!" to remind you to speak to everyone as you would to an old friend you haven't seen for ages.

Be friendly, show everyone respect and develop a mellifluous sounding voice. It's an unbeatable combination. And if you need help with it, email me: phillip@mainspeaker.com

PUBLIC SPEAKING: THE MIROWAVE METHOD

There are two claims about public speaking that are both misunderstood and misapplied:
* The first is that speaking in public is feared even more than death.
* The second is the 7%-38%-55% set of statistics that came out of a study conducted by Dr Albert Mehrabian.

Let me ask you this: if someone held a gun to your head and made you believe your life was about to end, unless you agreed to make a speech, would you say, "Go ahead and shoot. I'd rather die than speak in public." If you genuinely believe you would, you need help, and I can recommend a caring counsellor.

Another question: can you really take leave of common sense and accept that only 7% of meaning is conveyed by the words? Read some poetry and tell me that. Recall the dramatic wartime radio broadcasts by Winston Churchill and tell me that his non-verbal communication mattered more than his words! Does an email convey only 7% of your meaning?

Dr Mehrabian made no such claims. His study concerned those situations in which the spoken words did not match other signals, when conveying feelings. Lazy people have applied the figures to all communication.

I train people in public speaking, and have never once met a person who preferred to die. But I have met people who have been misdirected by trainers who have given them formulas to follow, as though there is only one correct way to make a presentation. And I have met people who have considered my own record as a public speaker and wanted me to help them to speak like me.

My response to them is this: some trainers are like conventional ovens, but I use the Microwave Method. A conventional oven imparts its heat to the dish, but a microwave oven stimulates the dish to generate its own heat. My approach is to develop what is in each individual, to help them become the best version of themselves, not another version of me.

Because they are following their own style, but using the insights they get from me, and not just trying to remember some technique they were shown, the benefit sticks. And the credit for their improved performance belongs to them.

The Microwave Method. Created and practised by Phillip Khan-Panni. For speeches and presentations that are worth hearing. www.pkpcommunicators.com