Dealing with the fear of public speaking

I’ve been reading what others have written about the fear of public speaking, and feel that they mostly miss the mark. Some still parade the preposterous claim that public speaking is feared more than death, which ranks with the misquoted Mehrabian statistics (55-38-7).

There’s a lot of reassurance about audiences wishing you well, and advice on being prepared and deep breathing techniques. Some even describe the symptoms you are likely to encounter when the spotlight falls on you. Is that helpful?

As one who has spoken to audiences ranging from half a dozen to 3,000, I can tell you that there will always be anxiety ... unless you really don’t care, and that’s when audiences will start to turn away from you. So I analysed my own experiences and realised that there is a common factor linking fear of public speaking and delivering a poor performance.

Since you are probably clear about the former (and may have experienced it yourself) let me explain the latter. Think back. Have you ever seen or heard a speech or presentation given by a celebrity or politician that may have been fluent but failed to impress you? Was there something lacking in the sound of their voice? That’s the clue.

I have just watched a ‘Motivational’ YouTube clip by a well-known former athlete. He says all the right words, but it does not inspire or ignite. Why? Because he lacks conviction. Then I watched a clip of Al Pacino in a film. Even in the quiet opening moments, he spoke like he expected to be heard, and once he was in his stride he was compelling. That same conviction and authority are evident in Barack Obama’s campaigning speeches.

Now how does that relate to fear of public speaking? Simply this: when you have something to say, something you believe in, something you really want others to hear, understand and accept, fear will disappear. It will be replaced by a certain nervous energy that will actually enhance your delivery. It’s the quality that can dispel the fear of public speaking, and help any public performance reach the hearts of the hearers.

Can it be learned? Yes it can. It’s what I develop in the people I coach. It’s an essential element in the voice of leadership, it’s what business leaders and politicians need to have. It’s what will make the difference in the General Election on May 6th, especially in the marginal constituencies. But will the political parties listen?

Valentine's Day -- Indian version

Here’s the Indian version.

It is said that the Gujeratis (Patels) are notorious for treating their wives badly. One day, a certain Patel wife had had enough, and she beat up her husband with the rolling pin (called a Velan). It happened to be 14th February.

When other Patel women heard about it they copied her, and on the anniversary of her first reverse beating she (and other Patel wives) celebrated by beating up their husbands again.

The husbands decided to avoid future beatings on 14th February by giving their wives chocolates and flowers on what had become known as Velan Time Day.

When the practice spread to Britain, the name was anglicised to Valentine’s Day.

So now you know.