Common Culture Clashes

We increasingly encounter the people and cultures of other nations, both in business and elsewhere, and we need to understand how and why clashes will occur. In my training programmes on cross cultural communication (www.pkpcommunicators.com) I help people to identify why and how people from other cultures behave differently. Here are 10 of the most common flashpoints.

1. When you notice a 'violation' of any rules or norms, you tend to think it's the ignorance of others, for example, when 'foreigners' jump the queue.

2. If these violations persist, you suspect people are being deliberately rude and in some cases downright dishonest. You expect them to learn and conform after being corrected once.

3. You are more likely to accept that they have a different set of rules after you have been abroad and justified your own departure from their 'norms' by saying, "Doesn't matter. I'm a foreigner/visitor."

4. The more similar two cultures are, the greater the shock when discrepancies surface, especially if you share a common language. You expect them to be 'just like us'.

5. Cultural friction is aggravated by communication breakdowns. People who do not understand what you are saying will often look blank. While their intention is to avoid the problem of language, that blank look (and avoiding eye contact) may cause you to consider them stupid.

6. When there is a cultural clash, people tend to give up easily rather than fight for principles, partly because it is difficult to explain, and it sounds weak to say, "Where I come from, we believe in ..."

7. Groups look for external referees and arbitrators when they are unable to communicate with each other. They want more than translators. They want someone to confirm that their way is right.

8. People who communicate effectively usually get their own way! Two factors matter most: one is command of the other's language, and the other is a smiling, patient approach that includes listening carefully to what the other person is saying.

9. People become embarrassed when they have to communicate in 'new' ways (remember trying to speak a foreign language at school?) They limit what they want to say to their available vocabulary, and rehearse their words before speaking.

10. When abroad, there is a common tendency to seek the company of compatriots, as a welcome relief from coping with the foreign language and customs. This not only gets in the way of understanding the local scene, it actually reinforces entrenched prejudices.