Got a Best Man speech to deliver?

You stand up and call for silence. Someone taps a knife against a wine glass, and you realise it's you. Gradually the room falls silent.

Your throat is dry but the sweat drips off your forehead and your shirt is clinging to your back. There's a slow pounding in your head and your stomach is lurching around. The brilliant opening line that you crafted so carefully has fled from your memory and you yearn for someone to call you away to take an urgent telephone call.

In your hand is a bundle of papers which you are crushing with the tension that is gripping you and blurring your vision. You look down at them and realise they are the cards that everyone is expecting you to read out.

You start to speak, but all you can do is squeak. You open the first card and the rest slip from your hand, cascading to the floor. The room erupts in laughter and you twist around, looking for a bin into which you can throw up. And as you do so, you fall out of bed.

It has all been a terrible dream, a nightmare, and possibly a recurrent one.

It is actually a fairly common nightmare, and its cause is simple: the fear of public speaking. It is well documented that one of the greatest fears of modern man is public speaking.

For some reason, people who may be fluent and confident in conversation will freeze in fear when they have to stand in the spotlight and deliver a speech, even if the audience consists of friends and family.

It can happen to anyone, even experienced speakers. To help you cope (and, by the way, this could apply to almost any speech), here’s a simple 8-step guide that will allow you to shine.

Step 1: 10 Key Points
Keep it simple. Just decide on 10 points to make. Any 10 that seem important. If you’re not sure how to do that, just list all the points you want to make and select the 10 most important. Decide which is the MOST important and call it No. 1. Then the next, and call it No. 2, and so on.

Step 2: Brainstorm
Take 10 sheets of paper and at the top of each write one of the 10 key points. Then write all you can think of about that topic. Use bullet points rather than full sentences, and do as fast as you can, so that you build up a momentum. Do;t edit at this stage. Just put down whatever you think of.

Step 3: Planning the Sequence
Here’s the interesting bit. Lay the 10 sheets of paper on the floor and decide which point you want to talk about first. Pick it up and place it at the top left hand corner of your space. Then decide on the next point you want to make and place it alongside the first. Keep going until all 10 are in position. Go to No.1 (top left hand spot) and talk it through quickly, then step to each point in turn, talking it through (“Next, I’ll say …”) and decide if the sequence feels right. If not, just change it. Once you are happy with the sequence, mark the 10 numbers at the top of the sheets, and gather them up in the order you have chosen.

Step 4: Editing
Now you can edit. Go through each page in turn, and delete anything that does not fit.

Step 5: First Draft
Following the editing process, you should write out the speech, to see how the ideas fit together. The read it out aloud, recording it if you can.

Step 6: Rewrite
A re-write is essential. Don’t fall in love with your brilliance. Any script can be improved. Any phrase that seems too long or hard to say when you read it aloud has to be changed.

Step 7: Write a Hook
What will you say or do at the start of your speech, to grab the attention of everyone there? It could be a joke (not advisable unless you are good at telling jokes) or something startling. Spend time on this. It will get you properly launched.

Step 8: Speaker's Notes
Finally, write your notes on 5 x 3 cards. Headlines and bullet points. Don’t write a full script that you then read out word for word. That’s boring, and will also make you lose eye contact with your audience.

One last bit of advice: PRACTISE!

Best of luck.

Phillip