I’ve been reading what others have written about the fear of public speaking, and feel that they mostly miss the mark. Some still parade the preposterous claim that public speaking is feared more than death, which ranks with the misquoted Mehrabian statistics (55-38-7).
There’s a lot of reassurance about audiences wishing you well, and advice on being prepared and deep breathing techniques. Some even describe the symptoms you are likely to encounter when the spotlight falls on you. Is that helpful?
As one who has spoken to audiences ranging from half a dozen to 3,000, I can tell you that there will always be anxiety ... unless you really don’t care, and that’s when audiences will start to turn away from you. So I analysed my own experiences and realised that there is a common factor linking fear of public speaking and delivering a poor performance.
Since you are probably clear about the former (and may have experienced it yourself) let me explain the latter. Think back. Have you ever seen or heard a speech or presentation given by a celebrity or politician that may have been fluent but failed to impress you? Was there something lacking in the sound of their voice? That’s the clue.
I have just watched a ‘Motivational’ YouTube clip by a well-known former athlete. He says all the right words, but it does not inspire or ignite. Why? Because he lacks conviction. Then I watched a clip of Al Pacino in a film. Even in the quiet opening moments, he spoke like he expected to be heard, and once he was in his stride he was compelling. That same conviction and authority are evident in Barack Obama’s campaigning speeches.
Now how does that relate to fear of public speaking? Simply this: when you have something to say, something you believe in, something you really want others to hear, understand and accept, fear will disappear. It will be replaced by a certain nervous energy that will actually enhance your delivery. It’s the quality that can dispel the fear of public speaking, and help any public performance reach the hearts of the hearers.
Can it be learned? Yes it can. It’s what I develop in the people I coach. It’s an essential element in the voice of leadership, it’s what business leaders and politicians need to have. It’s what will make the difference in the General Election on May 6th, especially in the marginal constituencies. But will the political parties listen?
Thursday, 11 March 2010
Thursday, 4 March 2010
Valentine's Day -- Indian version
Here’s the Indian version.
It is said that the Gujeratis (Patels) are notorious for treating their wives badly. One day, a certain Patel wife had had enough, and she beat up her husband with the rolling pin (called a Velan). It happened to be 14th February.
When other Patel women heard about it they copied her, and on the anniversary of her first reverse beating she (and other Patel wives) celebrated by beating up their husbands again.
The husbands decided to avoid future beatings on 14th February by giving their wives chocolates and flowers on what had become known as Velan Time Day.
When the practice spread to Britain, the name was anglicised to Valentine’s Day.
So now you know.
It is said that the Gujeratis (Patels) are notorious for treating their wives badly. One day, a certain Patel wife had had enough, and she beat up her husband with the rolling pin (called a Velan). It happened to be 14th February.
When other Patel women heard about it they copied her, and on the anniversary of her first reverse beating she (and other Patel wives) celebrated by beating up their husbands again.
The husbands decided to avoid future beatings on 14th February by giving their wives chocolates and flowers on what had become known as Velan Time Day.
When the practice spread to Britain, the name was anglicised to Valentine’s Day.
So now you know.
Sunday, 21 February 2010
Make your mark -- memories are short
Whatever your field of expertise, make your mark, and ensure that you are not overlooked. Too often you are like a stick in a pail of water, standing out while you are there, but once you leave, the ripples quickly subside, leaving no evidence of who you were or what you did. Unless you change the colour of the water.
Ten years ago, some half a dozen speakers, including myself, started the Professional Speakers Association (PSA). I was the Marketing Director for the first four years, promoting membership and building up the organisaton itself. Much of the work I did was behind the scenes, in helping to formulate policies and strategies and ensuring that they were carried out. As any director would.
We were too democratic. Instead of retaining ownership, we decided to let the PSA be owned by its members. Bad mistake.
In recent times I have not been involved with the PSA, except to attend the occasional meeting. About a month ago I received an invitation to join one of the groups (just like the Ecademy clubs), and automatically accepted.
To my amazement, last week I received a message from someone who may be the group's facilitator, saying that he had read my profile but could not find any information about my speaking activities or my connection with the PSA. I replied simply that I was one of the handful of people who founded the PSA.
What would you have done?
Phillip
Ten years ago, some half a dozen speakers, including myself, started the Professional Speakers Association (PSA). I was the Marketing Director for the first four years, promoting membership and building up the organisaton itself. Much of the work I did was behind the scenes, in helping to formulate policies and strategies and ensuring that they were carried out. As any director would.
We were too democratic. Instead of retaining ownership, we decided to let the PSA be owned by its members. Bad mistake.
In recent times I have not been involved with the PSA, except to attend the occasional meeting. About a month ago I received an invitation to join one of the groups (just like the Ecademy clubs), and automatically accepted.
To my amazement, last week I received a message from someone who may be the group's facilitator, saying that he had read my profile but could not find any information about my speaking activities or my connection with the PSA. I replied simply that I was one of the handful of people who founded the PSA.
What would you have done?
Phillip
Friday, 19 February 2010
What's in the food you eat?
Yesterday I saw the film, Food Inc. and if you haven't seen it yet, I urge you to find it. It will change the way you think about the food you eat.
Very simply, it's a fine piece of investigative journalism on the misuse of power by the food industry in the US. Some of those practices almost certainly exist in Britain and the EU. They are doing you harm.
Two things, in particular, bothered me about the film's content. One, it revealed how much danger we are in from the way animals are factory-processed for our consumption. The other was the way that five or six major food corporations dominate the industry, exploiting and intimidating their suppliers (farmers) in a so-called free society.
On the first point, did you know that 'ground beef' (mince) prepared for commercial hamburgers seems to have contained every bit of the animal parts, including those you would throw away yourself? And did you know that cattle raised for beef stand all day in deep piles of their own manure, which is barely washed off when they are slaughtered, so that it affects (and even infects) the meat that goes on sale? And did you know that the millk you drink probably contains the pus from infected teats and traces of cow dung?
The film also told the story of a healthy young boy who ate a hamburger and was dead within 12 days. His mother has been campaigning for something to be done to prevent it happening again. E-coli is being bred into foodstuffs, and the food companies don't seem to care.
You don't want to know about the way chickens are reared. It's all driven by money.
You think it doesn't happen here? Well, I feed my local foxes on well-known brands of dog food which I buy in major supermarkets. Quite often they walk right past the food and refuse to eat it. A friend has a cat that similarly ignores the tinned food she puts out. Why do you suppose that is?
Could it be that the carcasses of diseased farm animals are used for pet food? What else is in the processed food we buy? Start reading labels and see how much 'real' food you are getting, and how much is some form of corn derivative. And start taking notice of the conditions in which farm animals are kept before slaughter. You may never eat meat again.
So what can we do about it? Well, consider what happened to the tobacco industry. Laws were introduced to protect us from the effects of tobacco smoke because of people power. Buy organic food. Raise this as an issue at the General Election. Vote for those who promise to expose bad practices in food preparation.
You have the power. Time to use it.
Phillip
Very simply, it's a fine piece of investigative journalism on the misuse of power by the food industry in the US. Some of those practices almost certainly exist in Britain and the EU. They are doing you harm.
Two things, in particular, bothered me about the film's content. One, it revealed how much danger we are in from the way animals are factory-processed for our consumption. The other was the way that five or six major food corporations dominate the industry, exploiting and intimidating their suppliers (farmers) in a so-called free society.
On the first point, did you know that 'ground beef' (mince) prepared for commercial hamburgers seems to have contained every bit of the animal parts, including those you would throw away yourself? And did you know that cattle raised for beef stand all day in deep piles of their own manure, which is barely washed off when they are slaughtered, so that it affects (and even infects) the meat that goes on sale? And did you know that the millk you drink probably contains the pus from infected teats and traces of cow dung?
The film also told the story of a healthy young boy who ate a hamburger and was dead within 12 days. His mother has been campaigning for something to be done to prevent it happening again. E-coli is being bred into foodstuffs, and the food companies don't seem to care.
You don't want to know about the way chickens are reared. It's all driven by money.
You think it doesn't happen here? Well, I feed my local foxes on well-known brands of dog food which I buy in major supermarkets. Quite often they walk right past the food and refuse to eat it. A friend has a cat that similarly ignores the tinned food she puts out. Why do you suppose that is?
Could it be that the carcasses of diseased farm animals are used for pet food? What else is in the processed food we buy? Start reading labels and see how much 'real' food you are getting, and how much is some form of corn derivative. And start taking notice of the conditions in which farm animals are kept before slaughter. You may never eat meat again.
So what can we do about it? Well, consider what happened to the tobacco industry. Laws were introduced to protect us from the effects of tobacco smoke because of people power. Buy organic food. Raise this as an issue at the General Election. Vote for those who promise to expose bad practices in food preparation.
You have the power. Time to use it.
Phillip
Monday, 15 February 2010
What is happening to Whom in Britain?
I was having dinner in San Diego with a retired English teacher, when he rather cleverly asked me, "What is happening to whom in England?" I knew he meant "What is happening to the use of the word 'whom'?" so I replied that it was hardly used at all, except incorrectly.
Here's an example: I contacted John Smith whom I believe is the man in charge. It's a common error, caused by the parenthetical phrase 'I believe'. Take out that phrase and you'll know it's right to say "who is the man in charge".
We continued talking about common mistakes in English, and exchanged notes on the following:
As a valued customer we can offer you ... Is the valued customer making the offer? Should have been "As you are a valued customer, we can offer you ..." or (better) "Because you are a valued customer ..."
Your alright. Should be You're all right. You're sounds like Your, but here it stands for You are. And 'all right' is the correct form, as two words. 'Alright' is one of those abuses that are gaining acceptance just because so many people use it.
Celebrating it's anniversary. The possessive form is 'its'. 'It's', with the apostrophe, means 'it is.'
Between 12pm and 1pm. There is no such time as 12p.m. Or 12 a.m. either. It is 12 noon or 12 midnight.
This mitigates against them recommending you. Some words are used in error instead of another word that sound similar. Mitigates means 'making less bad', so perhaps the speaker means 'militates', which means 'being a powerful factor in preventing something'.
XYZ ups the anti on driving skills. This is another example of the previous error. It should have been "ups the ante." The word means the bet a player makes when gambling (Latin for 'before').
He span around. The past tense of 'to spin' is 'spun'.
It was given to my friend and I. This is another version of 'between you and I'. Should be 'given to my friend and me'.
These common mistakes in English can result in the user being considered ill-educated, and create an unfavourable impression. Two excellent reference books on this topic are Usage and Abusage by Eric Partridge (Penguin) and The Right Word at the Right Time from Reader's Digest.
Phillip Khan-Panni
www.pkpcommunicators.com
Here's an example: I contacted John Smith whom I believe is the man in charge. It's a common error, caused by the parenthetical phrase 'I believe'. Take out that phrase and you'll know it's right to say "who is the man in charge".
We continued talking about common mistakes in English, and exchanged notes on the following:
As a valued customer we can offer you ... Is the valued customer making the offer? Should have been "As you are a valued customer, we can offer you ..." or (better) "Because you are a valued customer ..."
Your alright. Should be You're all right. You're sounds like Your, but here it stands for You are. And 'all right' is the correct form, as two words. 'Alright' is one of those abuses that are gaining acceptance just because so many people use it.
Celebrating it's anniversary. The possessive form is 'its'. 'It's', with the apostrophe, means 'it is.'
Between 12pm and 1pm. There is no such time as 12p.m. Or 12 a.m. either. It is 12 noon or 12 midnight.
This mitigates against them recommending you. Some words are used in error instead of another word that sound similar. Mitigates means 'making less bad', so perhaps the speaker means 'militates', which means 'being a powerful factor in preventing something'.
XYZ ups the anti on driving skills. This is another example of the previous error. It should have been "ups the ante." The word means the bet a player makes when gambling (Latin for 'before').
He span around. The past tense of 'to spin' is 'spun'.
It was given to my friend and I. This is another version of 'between you and I'. Should be 'given to my friend and me'.
These common mistakes in English can result in the user being considered ill-educated, and create an unfavourable impression. Two excellent reference books on this topic are Usage and Abusage by Eric Partridge (Penguin) and The Right Word at the Right Time from Reader's Digest.
Phillip Khan-Panni
www.pkpcommunicators.com
Monday, 1 February 2010
Could this be why Murray lost?
The Times this morning is full of reports and analysis of the Australia Open and Andy Murray's failure to end a 74 drought of Grand Slam victories by a British male. One of the journalists wrote that Murray brought his A game but lost because he did not also bring his A service.
I think he was watching a different match from the one I saw.
In my view, Murray played reactive tennis -- a feature of his natural style. He seemed to be waiting for Federer to make an error, and when Federer played a soft slice, he responded with his own soft slice. Only in the third set, which he needed to win, did he come out and play with the kind of intensity that wins matches. He nearly won that set, and he played some of his best tennis in the tie break, when his motivation was finally at the right level.
So what can we learn from that?
Federer was in charge. He deployed his own resources, he dictated the plays, he made his opponent respond to what he was doing. Murray seldom took the initiative. He has the talent (the means), he has the technique (the method), but he fell short on motivation or mindset.
Means, method, mindset -- the 3Ms that provide the chance of success at the top.
I think he was watching a different match from the one I saw.
In my view, Murray played reactive tennis -- a feature of his natural style. He seemed to be waiting for Federer to make an error, and when Federer played a soft slice, he responded with his own soft slice. Only in the third set, which he needed to win, did he come out and play with the kind of intensity that wins matches. He nearly won that set, and he played some of his best tennis in the tie break, when his motivation was finally at the right level.
So what can we learn from that?
Federer was in charge. He deployed his own resources, he dictated the plays, he made his opponent respond to what he was doing. Murray seldom took the initiative. He has the talent (the means), he has the technique (the method), but he fell short on motivation or mindset.
Means, method, mindset -- the 3Ms that provide the chance of success at the top.
Saturday, 19 December 2009
Some unfortunate names
Some people have names they regret. Some business names convey the wrong impression. Here are a few I have collected. Do you have any you could add?
RESTAURANTS
FU KING Chinese Restaurant in Lake City, Florida.
Kum Den Restaurant in Melbourne, Australia.
My Dung Restaurant in Rosemead, California.
Chinese Food Takeaway - Fu Do, in Bromley, Kent
Gassey Jack's near Orange City, Florida.
Hitler's Cross in Mumbai, changed its name after residents objected
Sar's Oriental Cuisine, Tacoma, Washington
McWanks's in Watson Lake, Yukon, Canada
Colon Restaurant, Barcelona, Spain
Bang a Dong in Metro, Atlanta
Cabbages and Condoms in Thailand
PEOPLE
Kim Yoo Suk is a pole vaulter
Chew Kok is a tourist guide
Sue Yoo is a lawyer in New York
Dr Ted Kadivar is a Florida surgeon
Dr Melvin Boner is an Endodentist in Florida
Dr Alden Cockburn is a urologist in New Mexico
Brad Slaughter is a Meat Manager
Karl Thojntxhebvwg is a Mortgage Consultant
Oliver Loser stood for election in Denmark
Willie Stroker was a judge at an outdoor event
Mike Litoris is an American
Rusty Kuntz plays baseball for the Detroit Tigers
Robert G. Aycock does plastic surgery
Dr Will Tickle is a chiropractor
CARS
Mazda LaPuta = The whore
Mitsubishi Pajero = Wanker
Nissan Moco = booger (nose picking)
Buick LaCrosse = masturbating teenagers (in Quebec)
Opel Ascona = vagina
Honda Fitta = vagina
Daihatsu Charade = just pretending
Dodge Swinger = so '70s!
Lamborghini Reventon = wheel puncture
Mazda Furai = stealing (in Romanian)
Sources: 2leep.com and oddee.com
I deal in words that work. If you want to be sure of getting it right, contact me.
PKP
www.pkpcommunicators.com
RESTAURANTS
FU KING Chinese Restaurant in Lake City, Florida.
Kum Den Restaurant in Melbourne, Australia.
My Dung Restaurant in Rosemead, California.
Chinese Food Takeaway - Fu Do, in Bromley, Kent
Gassey Jack's near Orange City, Florida.
Hitler's Cross in Mumbai, changed its name after residents objected
Sar's Oriental Cuisine, Tacoma, Washington
McWanks's in Watson Lake, Yukon, Canada
Colon Restaurant, Barcelona, Spain
Bang a Dong in Metro, Atlanta
Cabbages and Condoms in Thailand
PEOPLE
Kim Yoo Suk is a pole vaulter
Chew Kok is a tourist guide
Sue Yoo is a lawyer in New York
Dr Ted Kadivar is a Florida surgeon
Dr Melvin Boner is an Endodentist in Florida
Dr Alden Cockburn is a urologist in New Mexico
Brad Slaughter is a Meat Manager
Karl Thojntxhebvwg is a Mortgage Consultant
Oliver Loser stood for election in Denmark
Willie Stroker was a judge at an outdoor event
Mike Litoris is an American
Rusty Kuntz plays baseball for the Detroit Tigers
Robert G. Aycock does plastic surgery
Dr Will Tickle is a chiropractor
CARS
Mazda LaPuta = The whore
Mitsubishi Pajero = Wanker
Nissan Moco = booger (nose picking)
Buick LaCrosse = masturbating teenagers (in Quebec)
Opel Ascona = vagina
Honda Fitta = vagina
Daihatsu Charade = just pretending
Dodge Swinger = so '70s!
Lamborghini Reventon = wheel puncture
Mazda Furai = stealing (in Romanian)
Sources: 2leep.com and oddee.com
I deal in words that work. If you want to be sure of getting it right, contact me.
PKP
www.pkpcommunicators.com
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